i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize