very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
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I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
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Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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