I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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