I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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