Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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