So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
