Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
