dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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