I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
