Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
