Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize