You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
