my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
so much tequila, so little girl.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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