Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
