I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
