This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
