I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
