even my farts smell like vagina
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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