Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
