Nicole vs. Life
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
