Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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