someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
