I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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