No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
