Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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