The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
