i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize