I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We don't watch enough power rangers
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
