No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
