It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
