I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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