You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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