nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
