Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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