it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
