No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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