I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
