Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
did you just send me my own nude
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
