Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
They are going to name an STD after you.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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