sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I am available for nakedness
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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