Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
