wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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