it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
