I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
