I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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