I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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