What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize