I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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