Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
