I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
