but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
