I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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