got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
