If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think I won the penis lottery.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
