Capitaan dildo arrescate!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
