Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Someone shattered a urinal.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
