So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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