Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
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I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
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Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.