ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.