Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
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Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
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I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?