Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."