That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
